Days since last shave: 8
Current look: Scruffy as hell
Beard inspiration: Still Grandad Shred.
p.s. I'm a little worried about the hair below my bottom lip. It's inexplicably blond compared to the rest...
Saturday, 3 February 2007
BC/DC
The most inspired tribute band name ever?
Today I've been wondering whether there are any men between 18 and 30 left in Australia. Between the barstaff in London and the massive majority here, there can't be many left...
Today I hitched to the hill for the first time. It's so common place that you don't even have to exchange stories in turn for your lift. Same old weather, so I amused myself by fashioning a walkie-talkie headset for my helmet and filling my new heli-pack with stuff. I'm particularly excited about my "deployable pocket".
Soundtrack to the day: Boston "more than a feeling", Lynnard Skynnard "freebird", Chemical Brothers "Afrikkkka"
Today I've been wondering whether there are any men between 18 and 30 left in Australia. Between the barstaff in London and the massive majority here, there can't be many left...
Today I hitched to the hill for the first time. It's so common place that you don't even have to exchange stories in turn for your lift. Same old weather, so I amused myself by fashioning a walkie-talkie headset for my helmet and filling my new heli-pack with stuff. I'm particularly excited about my "deployable pocket".
Soundtrack to the day: Boston "more than a feeling", Lynnard Skynnard "freebird", Chemical Brothers "Afrikkkka"
Friday, 2 February 2007
Beard progress 2
Days since last shave: 7
Current look: Mature student
Beard inspiration: Grandad shred, as I've named him. Think Uncle Albert from Only Fools and Horses on a snowboard.
Current look: Mature student
Beard inspiration: Grandad shred, as I've named him. Think Uncle Albert from Only Fools and Horses on a snowboard.
I've come to the Mall by mistake!
Friday: A day off, prompted by illness, tiredness and no more snow.
We took the bus to Trail today. A day away from the slopes and an expedition to find yet more gadgetry, haircuts and interesting photos.
Trail is a small mining town with the biggest Zinc smelting facility in Canada, and not a lot else. As soon as we'd arrived, I was wishig that I'd stayed watching the Lumberjack Olympics at the hostel (I didn't make that up).
First up was axe throwing, onto a target. Then chopping a vertical log against the clock. Next up chopping a log that you're standing on, between your legs (looked unnecessarily dangerous to me). This exciting sport was finished off with sawing (both manual and chain). I hope they don't have any "what happened next" footage.
We made our second mistake of the day by venturing onwards to a mall. On arrival, I realised we had ventured into the arena of the unwell, and we had to make our escape. 2 tortuous buses later and we were back in Rossland. I've never been so happy to see this little one street town.
Later in the evening I discovered that paying someone else $25 to wax your board is a bargain.
We took the bus to Trail today. A day away from the slopes and an expedition to find yet more gadgetry, haircuts and interesting photos.
Trail is a small mining town with the biggest Zinc smelting facility in Canada, and not a lot else. As soon as we'd arrived, I was wishig that I'd stayed watching the Lumberjack Olympics at the hostel (I didn't make that up).
First up was axe throwing, onto a target. Then chopping a vertical log against the clock. Next up chopping a log that you're standing on, between your legs (looked unnecessarily dangerous to me). This exciting sport was finished off with sawing (both manual and chain). I hope they don't have any "what happened next" footage.
We made our second mistake of the day by venturing onwards to a mall. On arrival, I realised we had ventured into the arena of the unwell, and we had to make our escape. 2 tortuous buses later and we were back in Rossland. I've never been so happy to see this little one street town.
Later in the evening I discovered that paying someone else $25 to wax your board is a bargain.
Thursday, 1 February 2007
I will never play, the bard
It was with a twinge of melancholy, as I woke this morning to realise that I would never play the bard. Still, it could be worse. I spent all day snowboarding.
Prevaling weather is still rubbish, with a weird temperature inversion (cold at the bottom, warm at the top. no snow).
I've been riding groomed pistes mostly, perfecting the art of riding just a little bit faster than I find comfortable (about 30mph according to Dan's GPS geek device).
I saw my beard hero today, a 60 year old boarder with a grey beard like Father Christmas. He was on the very first lift, and shredded up the hill all day.
The bus to the hill is driven by a young bloke called Travis, who has an Amish beard and a very friendly dog.
The hostel is almost completely filled with Aussies and Scandies. Someone introduced himself as "from london" but even he's Aussie. Still, at least there's no moodie French lifties.
Snow is forecast.....
Prevaling weather is still rubbish, with a weird temperature inversion (cold at the bottom, warm at the top. no snow).
I've been riding groomed pistes mostly, perfecting the art of riding just a little bit faster than I find comfortable (about 30mph according to Dan's GPS geek device).
I saw my beard hero today, a 60 year old boarder with a grey beard like Father Christmas. He was on the very first lift, and shredded up the hill all day.
The bus to the hill is driven by a young bloke called Travis, who has an Amish beard and a very friendly dog.
The hostel is almost completely filled with Aussies and Scandies. Someone introduced himself as "from london" but even he's Aussie. Still, at least there's no moodie French lifties.
Snow is forecast.....
Wednesday, 31 January 2007
Beard progress
Days since last shave: 5
Current look: Lazy student
Local beard inspiration: Saskwatch and a grizzly adams / father Christmas combo.
Current look: Lazy student
Local beard inspiration: Saskwatch and a grizzly adams / father Christmas combo.
Tuesday, 30 January 2007
It's not a job, it's a f-ing adventure!
Travelling eh? Who actually enjoys it, apart from Michael Palin?
I have been more rigourously searched and questioned than a brown person trying to enter the US of A. First a bodyscan at Heathrow, that I was dissapointed to find out didn't work like the one in Total Recall. It was much less impressive and operated by a moody teenager.
Then a 9 hour flight, alleviated by Jack Bauer biting someone's neck off. He certainly knows how to torture people at the drop of a hat, and he's given me some beard inspiration, thanks to his 20 months of Chinese torture.
Then Vancouver airport, where we were taken aside for extra searching and comedy questioning. You have to say how many days you're staying on a customs entry card, and apparently 71 is enough to pique their interest.
First we got asked the sensible question:
Him: "do you have any illegal items in your baggage?"
Us: No
And then it began to get silly:
Him: "Now I'm going to ask you something, and I don't care either way, but do you smoke pot?"
Us: "Nope, neither of us smoke"
Meanwhile a young lady to our right is donning latex gloves....
Him: "I don't mind either way, I just gotta ask."
Us: "That's fine."
Him: "Do you smoke pot?"
Us: "No"
and repeat this circle of boring questions for the next 5 minutes. If I hadn't been so monged from the flight, I would have got incredibly sarcastic.
Then they really got stumped by the answer to their next question to me:
Them: "What job do you do back home that lets you have 71 days off?"
Me: "I'm not working at the moment." (I really enjoy saying that)
Have I bored you yet? 'cause I was!
Anyway on to Vancouver and the last bit of luxury for a long time. We got a cab into Chinatown, and found it to be:
a) closed
ii) right next to the 'wrong side of the tracks'
A quick dinner, a pint in an Irish pub (yes, there really is one in every place on earth) and jet lag finally hit.
Next morning we were flying to Castlegar, in order to reach Red Mountain. Or so we thought...
It turns out that the approach to Castelgar (which isn't in Middle Earth, despite the name) is something of a "dive, dive, dive" affair. This is rather difficult with low cloud which was covering everything. A couple of attempts and the pilot whimped out. So we flew to somewhere called Kelowna.
After landing, and a small mutiny with the passengers demanding to be let off there, rather than forced back to Vancouver we set off to find a car for the 4 hour drive to Red. Luckily it wasn't me queuing up, or I might have said:
"I want keys to a f'ing car, four f'ing wheels and a f'ing boot"
So we all borded the Sunshine Party bus (Mazda 5 with a sewing machine for an engine) and then the nerding began. Despite leaving for the mountains, we have between us, more technology than a room full of Jawas. So the GPS came out, and we were able to navigate the journey, and more importantly record our exact height above sea level at any moment.
So, we finally arrived and tomorrow we get on the snow!
END
p.s. Since I typed this on the tiniest laptop keyboard, I bear no responsibility for any typos / spelling errors.
p.p.s I'm a day behind. I've already been out on the white stuff. I'll save that for the next one.
I have been more rigourously searched and questioned than a brown person trying to enter the US of A. First a bodyscan at Heathrow, that I was dissapointed to find out didn't work like the one in Total Recall. It was much less impressive and operated by a moody teenager.
Then a 9 hour flight, alleviated by Jack Bauer biting someone's neck off. He certainly knows how to torture people at the drop of a hat, and he's given me some beard inspiration, thanks to his 20 months of Chinese torture.
Then Vancouver airport, where we were taken aside for extra searching and comedy questioning. You have to say how many days you're staying on a customs entry card, and apparently 71 is enough to pique their interest.
First we got asked the sensible question:
Him: "do you have any illegal items in your baggage?"
Us: No
And then it began to get silly:
Him: "Now I'm going to ask you something, and I don't care either way, but do you smoke pot?"
Us: "Nope, neither of us smoke"
Meanwhile a young lady to our right is donning latex gloves....
Him: "I don't mind either way, I just gotta ask."
Us: "That's fine."
Him: "Do you smoke pot?"
Us: "No"
and repeat this circle of boring questions for the next 5 minutes. If I hadn't been so monged from the flight, I would have got incredibly sarcastic.
Then they really got stumped by the answer to their next question to me:
Them: "What job do you do back home that lets you have 71 days off?"
Me: "I'm not working at the moment." (I really enjoy saying that)
Have I bored you yet? 'cause I was!
Anyway on to Vancouver and the last bit of luxury for a long time. We got a cab into Chinatown, and found it to be:
a) closed
ii) right next to the 'wrong side of the tracks'
A quick dinner, a pint in an Irish pub (yes, there really is one in every place on earth) and jet lag finally hit.
Next morning we were flying to Castlegar, in order to reach Red Mountain. Or so we thought...
It turns out that the approach to Castelgar (which isn't in Middle Earth, despite the name) is something of a "dive, dive, dive" affair. This is rather difficult with low cloud which was covering everything. A couple of attempts and the pilot whimped out. So we flew to somewhere called Kelowna.
After landing, and a small mutiny with the passengers demanding to be let off there, rather than forced back to Vancouver we set off to find a car for the 4 hour drive to Red. Luckily it wasn't me queuing up, or I might have said:
"I want keys to a f'ing car, four f'ing wheels and a f'ing boot"
So we all borded the Sunshine Party bus (Mazda 5 with a sewing machine for an engine) and then the nerding began. Despite leaving for the mountains, we have between us, more technology than a room full of Jawas. So the GPS came out, and we were able to navigate the journey, and more importantly record our exact height above sea level at any moment.
So, we finally arrived and tomorrow we get on the snow!
END
p.s. Since I typed this on the tiniest laptop keyboard, I bear no responsibility for any typos / spelling errors.
p.p.s I'm a day behind. I've already been out on the white stuff. I'll save that for the next one.
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