Endex

It's all over and I'm back home.

After Rob and Dan left in their fun-bus, I got up and finished packing adding the last few random bits of junk to my bags.

Thanks to the delicious roast beef that Dan cooked previously, I had the opportunity to make beef and horseradish sarnies washed down with Jimmy James' coke. Cheers fellas.

It was rather depressing waiting around in the hostel, so I went for a walk and took a few last photos of Rossland and then made a desperate attempt to spend more money in Ross Vegas but failed.

Then my journey began. First a shuttle bus to Trail 'airport' with a driver coming down with the same Man 'Flu I have. I arrived at the 'airport' to find it was in fact a portacabin:



The plane was so small, I had to bend at the waist to walk down the aisle. There were 20 seats and not enough room to swing a cat, let alone a tiger. I could have touched both sides of the fuselage by stretching out both hands. Still, I was treated to one of the smoothest landings ever which was balanced nicely by the shuttle to the terminal, driven it seems by Carlos Sainz.

A very boring flight might have been alleviated by the prospect of watching the fountain, but the French twat sat in front of me saw to that. As soon as the plane started taxi-ing he cranked the chair right back so that the screen was 2.5" from my face. Why do they even bother making the things recline if it makes the space behind uninhabitable? Next time remind me to get the seat by the bulkhead. Still, at least I had 4 episodes of BSG to see me through the flight. Thank the gods for PSP.

Back on terra firma, I had another chance to enjoy an extra hour in the airplane thanks to the inability of ground crew to organise a set of stairs or a bus to coincide with the scheduled and on-time arrival of a 9 hour flight. That little debacle made the throwers seem positively organised. Apparently, throwing the snowboards and skis into the middle of the reclaim hall is all they can manage. No signs, no announcements.

Anyway, I'm back home with 2 months worth of Top Gear, Evo Magazine and CSI to keep me company when I wake up at 4am. I also had the last episode of the trap to enjoy, one of the most interesting programmes I've seen in ages.

And now, after 2 months of 6 litre automatics with rudders instead of steering I'm going to waste some petrol and rubber in a proper car.

That's all folks.

Run to the hills

Now that I'm just killing time until my flight back, I decided to run to the mountain and back yesterday. It was fairly hard work, going from about 1,000mtrs to 1,600 and about 12km round trip.

Today I'm regretting it, feeling like I'm about to get ill, just in time for my 9hr flight!

It's going to be very strange getting back, but I'm really looking forward to normal life. No more dorm rooms, no more ski bums wearing beanies inside, and no more getting depressed over snow conditions.

Rob and Dan are about to embark on Road Trip part deux. They've bought a really cool old van ('79 Ford) and are going to visit Kicking Horse again, then Whistler which has received some very big dumps.

Would the last person to leave Rossland please turn out the lights?

I'm lying on a bed, watching the ceiling fan rotate. In the thick, humid air you can smell sweat, smoke and cordite. I can hear "The End" by the doors. The ceiling fan starts slapping the air like a Huey. "Rossland, shit I'm still only in Rossland."

Actually, I made that up. I'm not in Apocalypse Now, but just like the grunts in '75 I'm getting the hell out of Dodge. I heard a Huey flying in Kicking Horse, it has a really distinctive sound.

Today was my first day back on the Mountain (no, despite what people say, it's NOT a hill) since Kicking Horse. The BC/DC gig and associated keg party left me broken over the weekend.

The season is truly over, it snowed last night but it didn't make enough difference. I only went to demo a Prior board. It was the all-mountain board which was very flexible. It made me realise that I definitely prefer a stiffer board. I wanted to try their Khyber but they didn't have the right size. Once I'd finished trashing someone's board on the rocks and ice I decided to call it a day.

I've now managed to change my flight to this weekend, so I'm all over the flights and transfers trying to sort out the details.

So, get ready to take the piss out of my absorbed accent. If you catch me saying eh? at the end of sentences or saying 'awesome' you have my permission to try and give me a dead arm.

See you all soon!

Think Twice

So the road trip is at an end, we're back in Rossland having enjoyed a great holiday-from-our-holiday in Kicking Horse.

Over the past few days we've seen some great conditions, and been able to ride some very different terrain, also being in a two-horse town rather than a one-horse has been a nice change even if the cinema in Golden was closed...

Stuart managed to win the Kicking Horse downhill V-max competition with an impressive 91.6km/h (just before he slid over a roller on his backside). I had another go but couldn't get near that speed! He is, after all, willing to ride a motorcycle at 146mph...

I had an interesting moment at the top of one of the bowls. I approached a run called Think Twice, which dropped off a narrow piste. Because it was almost a complete white-out, I could barely tell the difference between the snow and the sky. I'd been doing these runs all day though and they all started with the same incline (or so I thought). So I set off, expecting to traverse across a little bit and then get my bearings (and vision), but instead I dropped vertically about 8 feet. Unfortunately for me, I'd decided to drop in at the only point that was completely vertical. Oh well, nothing damaged.

We had another monster drive across the bottom corner of BC, 6/7 hours back to Rossland. I wouldn't mind betting that the entire UK would fit within the borders of BC alone.

Tonight we have a double treat:

1. A keg party. That's right kids, a real 'Merkin style kegger. I shall be silently saluting Jim Belushi in Animal House.
2. We're all going to see a local AC/DC tribute band called BC/DC. (see what they did there?)

I'm afraid I didn't take a camera to Golden, so check out Dan's

Pow! Kicking Horse

So here is blog version 2.1, the one that Firefox ate:

Red Mountain feels like the end of the season at the moment, all the snow is melting in high temperatures. It's depressing being at the mountain, and even worse sitting around the hostel so we decided on a road trip.

One minute we were talking about possible plans, and the next Rob and I were collecting a Pontiac Montana from a car hire place.

So we collected a couple more ski-bums from the hostel to fill the extra seats in the asthma-powered people carrier, and set off for Golden, BC home to Kicking Horse resort. I've been there for one day, a few years ago when it had just opened. It was a car park, a Gondola lift and a great restaurant at the top. Now it's massive (at least compared to Red), 3 chair lifts one Gondola and huge Alpine bowls.

We're staying in (what seems like) 5 star luxury. A timber lodge that doubles as a hostel. It has the largest television in Christendom and of course we're driving the fun bus to the mountain every morning. Kicking Horse River Lodge gets my seal of approval.

To top of our luxurious accommodation and general bonhomie due to the change of scenery, we had an amazing powder day today. 22cms overnight and we were second in the lift queue. It was incredible, as good as the Cat days. I borrowed Rob's GPS device and recorded 66.9km/h, so I have waxed the board, confident that I can top 90km/h!

IT Support

this blog was going to be titled "Bob Hope and Golf Carts" in honour of our road trip to Kicking Horse.

Unfortunately, due to a well-timed crash by Firefox, my really long blog has just disappeared into the ether, and I can't be bothered to write it again.

So, long story short:

Red Mountain = snow's melting, going mad in the Hostel.

Rented car, drove to Kicking Horse, checked into luxury hostel, went to mountain - Gondola closed, hoping it's open tomorrow.

Intolerance

What a difference a few days without snow makes. That and high temps. Since the big dump, Rob Dan and I have crammed a lot in (Cat Skiing, avalanche course) so when the slush came it was a welcome respite. So here's my first non-boarding post.

Monday was a complete day of rest, I only left the Hostel to get Coke. The afternoon dragged on with only Red Dragon on the telly and a Pacman tournament to pass the time.

I played a Scottish man called Stuart in my first match. After my last life went, he had to find 5k points to beat me... "Come on Stuart, 5k points to get or it's Falkirk all over again" High brow sledging eh?

My next match was against a Dane called Anders. I couldn't think of anything amusing to say, and besides he beat me by thousands of points.

Dan pulled some amazing Pacman moves out of the bag to come away with the first Mountain Shadow Hostel pacman title. Here's a video of the event:

The title of this blog is about me becoming a grumpy old man before my time. There's something a bit too 'yo' and 'Shoreditch' about people who board for long periods. I was on a lift with a kiwi and a yank the other day and they bored the crap out of me. People just cannot talk about anything but "fresh lines" and "sick tweaked methods" etc etc. It's beginning to get to me!

Also, they have no common sense AT ALL. These are the sort of fuzzy-thinking types that leave their shoes in the doorway and their dishes on the side thinking that mummy will sort it out.

Then there are ski teams who turn up and, before I've eaten anything in the morning, start prancing around in skin tight black leggings like it's reasonable. I even saw one walk into a cafe across the street wearing said leggings, grey knee-high socks and sandals.

Anyway, I'm sure there's some twat from Chipping Norton, complaining on his blog about the grumpy git in his hostel with sideburns. Slowly adding to the tedious scrollable HTML that makes up the internet. As Rob has just pointed out, we are fully immersed in the blogosphere and there's no getting out!

Nathan

We've had a big dump, and everyone is happy!

I was going to write yesterday, about how I've had the most amazing day in my short snowboarding career on Wednesday. It snowed 17cms, the like of which I've never seen before.

But then this morning, I woke bleary eyed and checked the red resort web site and it said 25 cms had fallen overnight. So, today was officially the best day I've ever had on snow.

I was only 30 people back from the first lift (Grandad Shred was first of course). First run was amazing. The powder was shoe deep on the pistes, and for most of the time through Powderfields, I could feel the snow pushing past my thighs as I rode. I'm trying to think of a way of describing it for people who don't board / ski. It's really hard. Imagine riding Marty McFly's hover board through Endor in the winter..

There, perfect. Now I've described it so that only film geeks understand me.

I spent the morning riding one of my favourite runs called Stu's Run. There's a great jump halfway down onto steep terrain that allows you to get really high and far, yet not hurt yourself (especially with thigh deep powder). I was the first person to jump off it today, and for the first time I landed it properly, riding of without even looking back.

At lunch I met up with Rob, and we spent the afternoon laughing like hyenas. Rob pulled off a particularly excellent jump, which he landed on his backside. Luckily for him he landed in waist deep powder. It must have been like launching himself off the sofa to land in a huge bean bag.

The only negative of the day was our third muskateer, Dan couldn't ride. He lost an argument with a tree yesterday and wanted to rest for our Cat skiing tomorrow. Did I mention that we're Cat skiing tomorrow? They 'phoned and told us to bring snorkels....

Again, no photos this time. Rule #4 No cameras on a powder day.

Tricks landed: Indy air, wheelie
Tricks failed: 180 backside air
Soundtrack: Foo Fighters - Skin and Bone, Buena Vista Social Club, Doves - The Last Broadcast

Rule 3

Okay, I found out today that there's another rule to powder days.

Before I start this, let me just confirm that I haven't broken anything, lost any teeth or hit a funny bone in my head causing partial paralysis, like Amans once did.

I have learnt the 3rd rule: "Always check your landings before flying off jumps"

Another 10-15 cms fell last night, so it was another amazing day at Red. Our first run was down powderfields, a very nice warm up that lived up to it's name:



Our second run down Short Squaw, was also magical. Steep bowls of deep snow opened out before us after a short tree run, then it levelled out through some more trees. In the second set, I decided to try and carry a little more speed through the trees, as I'd been stopping too often.

Everything was going swimmingly, and a nice approach to a lip opened out before me. After the jump would be more powder to land in, and no trees nearby (or so I thought at the time).

So, below is my approach. Looks good doesn't it?


As I left the ground, at some speed now, I just had time for a short expletive as I looked down and saw this:


Luckily for me, I happened to be absolutely lined up the the trunk. Six inches either side and I would have been in trouble. I hit the trunk in an unintentional 50-50 (where the board and the trunk are lined up), and proceeded to crash in the show.

To give you some perspective, I can stand up straight underneath the end of that log.

I thought is was so funny, that I rode back round and did the same run again. This time I did it a little slower, and took the camera.

Today's soundtrack was (chosen by the iPod) was:

Led Zeppelin, Flexistentialism, Depeche Mode.

Powder Day

"The first rule of a powder day, is that you HAVE NO FRIENDS"
"The second rule of a powder day, is that you HAVE NO FRIENDS"

"No wait, the second rule is lean back."

Friday was a hard day, with more hiking so I was looking forward to taking a day off on Saturday as a treat.

But, as we went to the pub for dinner, it started 'puking' with snow. Almost 20cms in a few hours.

So, an early night and an early morning!

This was the first proper powder day I've experienced. Enormous lift queue in the morning, excited looks on everyone's faces...

The riding was incredible, boot to knee deep powder and I finally got the hang of riding trees. I'm trying to think of a way to describe it, but failing miserably.

New pictures will go up soon. I didn't take any on the powder day, but did a few on our hike.


Nathan

The Ramblers

Today was amazing. There's been some snow overnight, and since we now have the right equipment to go "off road" we decided to hike to Mount Roberts.

From the top of the motherlode chair, it's a quick ride down to the boundary where you start walking. Start elevation was 1620mtrs, the peak of Roberts is 1920, it's probably only 3-4 kilometres, Computer says 2.5 km as the crow flies.

For all you Google Earth fans 49 05' 12.72" N 117 51' 30.07" W is the peak of Roberts.

It's a fairly hard 45min hike along a trail of boot-packed snow. By the time you get the top you're sweating like a fat lass in a cake shop, and it feels like you've done 200 burpees. It made the half marathon I did seem easy.

After lunch on the summit, we ran down towards one of the chair lifts, getting some amazing powder and tree riding. Half way down there's a brilliant jump, onto a soft steep landing. I hit it and got the most air I've ever experienced. It felt like I was airborn for 3/4 seconds and was 4 metres off the ground! On the first run (we hiked to Roberts twice!) I landed fairly gracefully. The second time around I rag-dolled down the hill until a tree stopped me. Independent witness from Rob on the second jump confirmed about 6 feet altitude and 8-12 feet distance. Awesome.

Unfortunately, I forgot to replace the card in the camera so no action shots. Check Dan's Flickr account, he had his camera with him.


Oh, by the way the Merv Hughes has gone. It was fun while it lasted.

Beard - the results

The polls have closed, the chads have ceased to hang. This evening was crunch time for my beard. It was getting annoying, and I never really liked the colour..

So, I decided to do the full range that I could.

Start:

Then:

Then:

Then:

Which made me do this:

Basically, I've decided on the Wolverine but for comedy's sake I'm leaving the Merv Hughes on all day tomorrow....

Where does he get those wonderful toys?

Hello everybody!

I've mostly been playing with new toys recently:
1 - Our avalanche transceivers, shovels and probes arrived on Monday. Now we can play hide and seek.
2 - I crumbled, and bought a new board. After borrowing a 163 Ride Prophet I convinced myself that I've been suffering with a short board that's not suited to the sort of riding I prefer. Now I have a nice new Ride havoc 162 for not much (in sterling)
3 - Proper snow eventually arrived. Tuesday was the first proper (almost) powder day. We rode all day from first lifts, even getting trapped in the Paradise area. Just after we got off the Motherlode chair it stopped, trapping us and a few hundred other people in the Paradise area, where no-one else could get to us! We had the whole hill to ourselves for the first hour and a half.

p.s. I've so far only been able to do one blog without using some sort of film reference! There's a guy working here from Tasmania, only 19 and has never seen Ferris Bueller, Jaws, Alien, Top Gun etc etc. I sometimes think that he doesn't have a clue what I'm talking about.

Beard progress 8

Votes so far:

D'Artagnan = 2
Wolvering = 2
Merv Hughes = 3
Philosophers beard = 1

Exciting this eh?

Bug Rid Cits

Well, today was one of those days that makes you glad to be retired / redundant / unemployed.... I'm trying to think of a superlative that aptly describes the day. Just think of how you felt the first time you watched Star Wars......

The day began early, a rude 7.25am lift from the hostel to the Big Red Cats operation. For those of you who don't know, they drag you up a hill in a big tractor and let you ride all the nice powder snow that has accumulated.

Of course it was entirely run by Kiwis (hence the title), during the briefing, they had terrible trouble remembering who was who and must have asked poor Dan what his name and beacon number was 20 times. I was no longer known as Nathan Robinson. Every time they spoke to me, they called me "The Nathan Robinson Group".

highlights below:







The day was amazing, but made me realise that I wash rash when I bought my board and should have done more research. A longer board would have made my day a lot easier, but I have a short freestyle board made for people who do 720deg backside airs and have no facial hair (or fear).


Today was also Brian's birthday, the guy that owns the Hostel. Being 31, shredding up a hill all day AND going drinking is barely in me. I've given up on the bar early. Rock 'n' Roll!

Beard progress 7

Right, it's crunch time for my beard. I'm getting a bit bored of it as it is.

In the style of a familiar, faintly racist tv programme, I thought I'd open it's fate to a public vote:

The choices are: (by the way, the sideburns are never going)

1. Handlebar 'tache, like Merv Hughes
2. Goatee, like everyone
3. Wolverine burns, like Logan
4. The D'Artagnan, like well, D'Artagnan
5. The philosophers goatee, like Brian in Spaced (couldn't find a decent link. It's a goatee with no 'tache)

Cast your vote now, by phoning 0898 123 456. Just kidding.

I will serisouly do whatever most people vote for, and unless I actually like it, keep it for at least a day (and go out in public).

Only ones on the list. I might experiment with "the Hitler" once and a while in the privacy of my bathroom, but it's not happening in public! Even in a town where no-one knows me.

Of course, I'll post a picture of the winning facial hair style.

Two-fers

Two blogs for the price of one today. Blogoff perhaps? Blog one, get one free. You lucky people

Yesterday: Wednesday 14th. The day of wrong decisions.

Every single decision I took on wednesday was wrong. As wrong as a dossier compiled off the internet. Every single line I took through trees led me to either:

a) dense, unskiable trees
2) flat bits
iii) crashes

I threw my toys out of the pram in a spectacular way, lost the use of my inner monoloue and startled local fauna with excessively loud expletives.

After that tree-fiasco, I decided to stick to pistes but I even got that wrong. I missed the Paradise lodge where we were meeting for lunch and had to go round again. I had the sarnies too!

I called it a day early.

Today: Thursday 15th: TFU

Today was amazing, the best days riding I've ever had. We got first lifts (well, we were in the queue when they opened) and spent all day riding a place called mini-bowls. For the first time ever, I managed to get through trees without falling over. I also got some useful air time. Over the next few days I'll try and get some action shots.

I rode right through normal lunch time, and called it quits at about 1pm, stopping on the way back for Souvlaki which is fantastic fast food. Thanks to Guy Coulthard for tipping me off in Greece.

Tomorrow is the big one. Big Red Cats

I feel like one of those kids you see in You've Been Framed. Christmas morning, bike sized present. He knows exactly what he's getting but he's still fitting with excitement and in danger of hyper-ventilating.

Beard progress 6

It seems to be slowing down in it's growth rate. Same weird blonde under my lip, a few annoying bits round my mouth, although I do rather enjoy the guilty pleasure of sucking beer from it.



Spotted a grey hair in it, rubbish.

Beard hero is still Grandad Shred. I saw him again today, but by the time I'd reached for the camera, he'd shot off!

Rear Admiral, come in this is Ring Commander. Can you roger me? over and over.

Yes, for the few people that weren't sure, that's the call sign of Amans, who arrived yesterday and started broadcasting this filth over channel 4 this afternoon. Like a child who's just discovered the rude words in the dictionary.

Today was amazing, everything went well. First thing, I got my glove back that I lost on the bus, then Coda, the bus dog kept me warm on the journey to the hill:


Then we met up with Phil and Ali who run the Hostel, and they showed us the great bits of the mountain that I'd been avoiding because I don't know how to ride trees.

Just after lunch, they opened up the Paradise chair which had been out of action. This allowed us to ride up and down through the trees, in snow that no-one had been able to access for the past 7 days. It was fantastic. I finally got the hang of spaced out trees, but I still whimp out when it gets tight and steep.

Here's a nice shot when we grouped before hitting one of the powder fields:




I'm finally starting to really get snowboarding, which is nice because after the recent crap weather I was beginning to wonder whether it's all worth it.

That's all for now folks!

Over and out.

Snow, finally

Yesterday I was beginning to get a little dispondant, thinking that I was actually jinxed with terrible luck regarding snow fall. So far in 8 years of riding I've only ever seen a total of 2 decent days.

However, it appears that the goat I sacrificed last night did the trick. This morning we awoke to about 3/4 cms in town and it continued to snow all day.

I rushed out of bed and managed to get to the hill by 11, and rode until the last lift. Some pros and cons today:

pro: I've discovered that the lodge at the base does Souvlaki. I learned how to ride bumps a little better

cons: I still can't ride trees properly.

I unintentionally made my biggest air today, and sort of landed it. After my wheelie-to-halt I turned around to see a 6 foot gap in my line

I'll load some photos later, and will do a beard blog. It appears to have slowed down , but is getting soft (I'm conditioning it).

Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes the bar eats you...

Last night I finally saw the Southpark Scientology episode, if you haven't seen it yet, I urge you to.

This is the link to the part where they explain L Ron Hubbards weird ramblings: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QM7UiX9kf5M

Friday saw another day of no snow, one or two runs up Red mountain found nothing but hard ice so I decided to do more switch riding. Just before I did, I thought I'd try one of the small rails in the park.

Big mistake, I logged on to www.I've_hurt_my_coccyx.com momentarily risking a total failure of all body functions. In the end, all I lost was my "outdoor voice". Birds and squirrels were startled by one of the loudest expletives BC has heard in a while. Just afterwards, a 40 year old soccer mom nailed the rail I'd just fallen off and rode off like she was walking her dog....

So, me and the trusty Ginger (Rob) decided to retreat to the slotties while my tailbone recovered. I spent the rest of the afternoon being a newbie again and treated myself with a long "regular" run down Long Squaw at the end of the afternoon. I got some good air in, but I haven't yet grown the cojones to try a 180.

I'm currently getting annoyed by American newscasters saying "Bi-Partisan" which they think means relating to both political parties. As far as I'm concerned, that's a gibberish word. Oxymoron in one word.

How can I be expected to handle school, on a day like this?

Today was another snotty snow day, so I decided to try and learn to ride switch. for those of you not familiar, imagine trying to learn how to play squash with your left hand. No, with your left foot.

The hill was full because of a school trip. Beats the Natural History museum! Since I was going to be surrounded by hundreds of learner kids, I thought it would be the best time to try riding the wrong way.

It was pretty frustrating to say the least, and I had to put my iPod on loud, to drown out the jeers and laughter! I'd forgotten how hard it is to ride slowly, and what it feels like to slam into a hard piste.... I must have looked like the most extreme "all the gear, no idea" with my helmet, heli-pack etc. I did pull off the longest wheelie though!

On a lift with one of the schoolchildren (a girl of about 7/8) there was one of those "from the mouths of children...." moments. She just turned around and said:

"Snowboarding's cool, eh?"

I had to bite my lip to avoid saying: "Too fucking right!"

She made me feel better about being a newbie again.

here are some 'atmospheric' photos from the spot that I hitch back from the hill.





I'm probably going to try my hand at curling this evening, and I'm rather excited at the prospect of using the brush....

It's nice to see that 3-4cms of snow has crippled the UK's transport system again! I've decided about my fantasy garage if I lived in the mountains:

Panda 100hp
Mustang
F350 truck. the biggest one they do with the most enormous engine possible.

Throw yourself into the road, darling - you haven't got a chance.

Another day of slush and ice, but some spectacular views were afforded from the top of Granite mountain:



We ventured across to another part of the mountain, to discover that it was exactly as crap snow as the rest, but much more steep. It was very, very bad.

As I heel-slid down the crusty, slushy snow I promised myself a cold beer that afternoon.



We really need some snow. It's just over a week now until our cat skiing is booked: http://bigredcats.com/go/index.php?id=30 and it had better have dumped by then.....

I heard a hilarious story on the news this morning. Apparently the leader of the biggest Evangelical christian church in the US has been in a bit of bother recently.

He was the typical "gays are evil, satan loves drug users" type preacher. Unfortunately for him, a male prostitute went to the papers saying "yes, he used to have sex with me and smoke Meth."

A few futile denials later, and he finally got divorced by his wife, and went into re-hab. Luckily for him, just 3 weeks later he's come out of re-hab and declared himself "cured."

which is nice for him.

That's all folks,

Nathan

Beard progress 5

Rob has chickened out of the beard contest and shaved. Most dissapointing...

Today I took it easy, waiting until nearly midday before getting to the hill. It paid off, although the conditions are terrible, they're better in the afternoon.

Second to last run was on red mountain, and the views from the top were so spectacular that I stopped for photos:








My last run of the day was fun, and despite the slush I managed a 10 minute time from the top of granite to the base lodge.

Question of the day: Why do people wear beanies INSIDE A WARM BUILDING?!?!?!?!?!!!!11111

grrrrr.

Nathan

Beard progress 4

Days since last shave: 11

Current look: Farm Hand

Beard inspiration: I watched X-Men 2 last night, and was seriously considering shaving my chin + lip and going for "super bernards" like Wolverine.

Mud and umscow

What a dissapointment. We arrived at the hill for the first lift ready to enjoy all the snow that fell yesterday, to find that it had rained overnight.

It was like riding on concrete, I did one run and went back to the hostel. I saw Grandad Shred again, next time I'll try and get a picture.

I've popped a few more pics on FlickR, check them out.

Nathan

There are 10 kinds of people in the World.....

Those that understand binary, and those that don't.

It finally snowed, about 4/5 cms. The groomed runs that have been getting really hard are now a joy to ride. We hiked again today, and found some nice turns.

Tonight, there will be no beer (and certainly none of the B52's that Fernandes bought 5 rounds of last night). I'm going to be waiting for the lifts to open tomorrow like an impatient OAP outside Boots on Saturday morning.

Didn't take many pics today, it was cold and I was lazy.

Soundtrack to the day: (I made a classic rock playlist)
Skynyrd - freebird
Dylan- The man in me
Cocker - woman to woman
America - A horse with no name
The Who - Eminence front
Eddie Money - two tickets to paradise
Zeppelin - Immigrant song (live version with polite clapping at end)
Zeppelin - Stairway
Boston - smokin'
Creedence - Sweet hitch hiker, Lookin' out my back door
Grand Funk Railroad - Some kind of wonderful
G'n'R - Sweet child O' mine
Huey Lewis and the News - The power of love
Hendrix - fire, All along the watchtower, stone free
Kravitz - Always on the run
Neil Young - Southern Man, rockin' in the free world
Queens of the stone age - Feel good hit of the summer, No one knows
Rod Stewart - Young Turks
Rolling Stones: 19th nervous breakdown, Ruby Tuesday, Paint it, black
Warren Zevron - Werewolves of london
Wolfmother - Woman

Beard progress 3

Days since last shave: 8

Current look: Scruffy as hell

Beard inspiration: Still Grandad Shred.

p.s. I'm a little worried about the hair below my bottom lip. It's inexplicably blond compared to the rest...

BC/DC

The most inspired tribute band name ever?

Today I've been wondering whether there are any men between 18 and 30 left in Australia. Between the barstaff in London and the massive majority here, there can't be many left...

Today I hitched to the hill for the first time. It's so common place that you don't even have to exchange stories in turn for your lift. Same old weather, so I amused myself by fashioning a walkie-talkie headset for my helmet and filling my new heli-pack with stuff. I'm particularly excited about my "deployable pocket".

Soundtrack to the day: Boston "more than a feeling", Lynnard Skynnard "freebird", Chemical Brothers "Afrikkkka"

Beard progress 2

Days since last shave: 7

Current look: Mature student

Beard inspiration: Grandad shred, as I've named him. Think Uncle Albert from Only Fools and Horses on a snowboard.

I've come to the Mall by mistake!

Friday: A day off, prompted by illness, tiredness and no more snow.

We took the bus to Trail today. A day away from the slopes and an expedition to find yet more gadgetry, haircuts and interesting photos.

Trail is a small mining town with the biggest Zinc smelting facility in Canada, and not a lot else. As soon as we'd arrived, I was wishig that I'd stayed watching the Lumberjack Olympics at the hostel (I didn't make that up).

First up was axe throwing, onto a target. Then chopping a vertical log against the clock. Next up chopping a log that you're standing on, between your legs (looked unnecessarily dangerous to me). This exciting sport was finished off with sawing (both manual and chain). I hope they don't have any "what happened next" footage.

We made our second mistake of the day by venturing onwards to a mall. On arrival, I realised we had ventured into the arena of the unwell, and we had to make our escape. 2 tortuous buses later and we were back in Rossland. I've never been so happy to see this little one street town.

Later in the evening I discovered that paying someone else $25 to wax your board is a bargain.

I will never play, the bard

It was with a twinge of melancholy, as I woke this morning to realise that I would never play the bard. Still, it could be worse. I spent all day snowboarding.

Prevaling weather is still rubbish, with a weird temperature inversion (cold at the bottom, warm at the top. no snow).

I've been riding groomed pistes mostly, perfecting the art of riding just a little bit faster than I find comfortable (about 30mph according to Dan's GPS geek device).

I saw my beard hero today, a 60 year old boarder with a grey beard like Father Christmas. He was on the very first lift, and shredded up the hill all day.

The bus to the hill is driven by a young bloke called Travis, who has an Amish beard and a very friendly dog.

The hostel is almost completely filled with Aussies and Scandies. Someone introduced himself as "from london" but even he's Aussie. Still, at least there's no moodie French lifties.

Snow is forecast.....

Beard progress

Days since last shave: 5

Current look: Lazy student

Local beard inspiration: Saskwatch and a grizzly adams / father Christmas combo.

It's not a job, it's a f-ing adventure!

Travelling eh? Who actually enjoys it, apart from Michael Palin?

I have been more rigourously searched and questioned than a brown person trying to enter the US of A. First a bodyscan at Heathrow, that I was dissapointed to find out didn't work like the one in Total Recall. It was much less impressive and operated by a moody teenager.

Then a 9 hour flight, alleviated by Jack Bauer biting someone's neck off. He certainly knows how to torture people at the drop of a hat, and he's given me some beard inspiration, thanks to his 20 months of Chinese torture.

Then Vancouver airport, where we were taken aside for extra searching and comedy questioning. You have to say how many days you're staying on a customs entry card, and apparently 71 is enough to pique their interest.

First we got asked the sensible question:

Him: "do you have any illegal items in your baggage?"
Us: No
And then it began to get silly:

Him: "Now I'm going to ask you something, and I don't care either way, but do you smoke pot?"

Us: "Nope, neither of us smoke"

Meanwhile a young lady to our right is donning latex gloves....

Him: "I don't mind either way, I just gotta ask."
Us: "That's fine."
Him: "Do you smoke pot?"
Us: "No"

and repeat this circle of boring questions for the next 5 minutes. If I hadn't been so monged from the flight, I would have got incredibly sarcastic.

Then they really got stumped by the answer to their next question to me:

Them: "What job do you do back home that lets you have 71 days off?"
Me: "I'm not working at the moment." (I really enjoy saying that)

Have I bored you yet? 'cause I was!

Anyway on to Vancouver and the last bit of luxury for a long time. We got a cab into Chinatown, and found it to be:

a) closed
ii) right next to the 'wrong side of the tracks'

A quick dinner, a pint in an Irish pub (yes, there really is one in every place on earth) and jet lag finally hit.

Next morning we were flying to Castlegar, in order to reach Red Mountain. Or so we thought...

It turns out that the approach to Castelgar (which isn't in Middle Earth, despite the name) is something of a "dive, dive, dive" affair. This is rather difficult with low cloud which was covering everything. A couple of attempts and the pilot whimped out. So we flew to somewhere called Kelowna.

After landing, and a small mutiny with the passengers demanding to be let off there, rather than forced back to Vancouver we set off to find a car for the 4 hour drive to Red. Luckily it wasn't me queuing up, or I might have said:

"I want keys to a f'ing car, four f'ing wheels and a f'ing boot"

So we all borded the Sunshine Party bus (Mazda 5 with a sewing machine for an engine) and then the nerding began. Despite leaving for the mountains, we have between us, more technology than a room full of Jawas. So the GPS came out, and we were able to navigate the journey, and more importantly record our exact height above sea level at any moment.

So, we finally arrived and tomorrow we get on the snow!

END

p.s. Since I typed this on the tiniest laptop keyboard, I bear no responsibility for any typos / spelling errors.
p.p.s I'm a day behind. I've already been out on the white stuff. I'll save that for the next one.